How eager I was to serve the Lord Jesus Christ! By leading a monastic life I thought I was doing just that. I performed all my monastic duties to the last rule. I whipped Myself every Wednesday and Friday evening till at times my back bled; in penance I often kissed the floor; often I ate my meager meal kneeling on the floor, or completely deprived myself of food. I did many forms of penances for I was truly seeking salvation. I was taught that I could eventually merit heaven. I did not know that the Word of God says: “By grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: not of works, lest any man should boast” (Ephesians 2:8,9).